enlightenment, don't know what it is.. [entries|friends|calendar] Ella D [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[ Wed, Apr 25, 9:38pm ] From the morning when I rise from my bed 'Til the evening when I lay my head in slumber Oh, the loss of you does wreck my days Leaves me with a violent hunger I will never be free from you 'Til I escape the lion's jaw There's no welcome in the end There's no reason to return again The mountain stood so large We were humbled We walked a high and lonely path The sun beat down on the ground We looked around us There were no trees there We found a creek there We dipped our feet there We were alone there There was still hope there There had been a great disaster The hot winds came just after A tremendous shock was felt Survivors often tell The trees all hit the ground Death was all around And not a single lonesome sigh The example lay before you You knew what you had to do You have a pressure in you To destroy the one who loved you The death was all around You were hotter to me than the sun That burned me up the day we went To mount saint helens And if the special death you gave to me Is the prize i get to take home solemnly And suffer with the fact that I could never be your friend I could never come back home again dead leaves

[ Mon, Apr 23, 5:25pm ] They are 1 person They are too alone They are 3 together They are for each other dead leaves

[ Tue, Apr 3, 10:14pm ] [ mood | contemplative ] Well, Ill go to college and Ill learn some big words And Ill talk real loud Goddamn right Ill be heard Youll remember all the guys that said all those big words he mustve Learned in college And it took a long time I came clean with myself I come clean out of love with my lover I still love her Loved her more when she used to be sober and I was kinder dead leaves

[ Sat, Mar 3, 12:48pm ] We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully Wonderfully pretty! Oh you know that I'd do anything for you... We should have each other to tea huh? We should have each other with cream Then curl up by the fire And sleep for awhile It's the grooviest thing It's the perfect dream dead leaves

g love tonight [ Thu, Feb 15, 5:43pm ] let's tear the shit apart let's tear the fucking house apart let's tear our fucking bodies apart, let's just have some fun somehow you've red-rovered the Gestapo circling my heart and nothing can defeat you no death, no ugly world you've lived so brightly you've altered everything dead leaves

[ Wed, Feb 14, 11:31pm ] Did I drive you away? I know what you'll say You'll say, "Oh, sing one we know" But I promise you this I'll always look out for you That's what I'll do I say "oh" I say "oh" My heart is yours It's you that I hold on to That's what I do And I know I was wrong But I won't let you down (Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah I will, yes I will…) I said "oh" I cry "oh" Yeah I saw sparks Yeah I saw sparks And I saw sparks Yeah I saw sparks Singing out 1 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Mon, Feb 12, 8:18pm ] t's cold here in the city Always seems that way I've been thinking about you almost everyday Thinking about the good times Thinking about the bad Thinking about how bad it feels all alone again I'm sorry for the way things are in China I'm sorry things ain't what they used to be But more than anything else I'm sorry for myself That you're not here with me My friends all ask about you I say you're doing fine I expect to hear from you almost anytime They all know I'm lying I can't sleep at night They all know I'm dying deep down inside I'm sorry for all the lies I told you I'm sorry for the things I didn't say But more than anything else I'm sorry for myself I can't believe you went away I'm sorry if I took some things for granted I'm sorry for the chains I put on you But more than anything else I'm sorry for myself For living without you dead leaves

[ Sun, Feb 11, 1:55am ] Come down off your throne And leave your body alone Somebody must change You are the reason I've been waiting so long Somebody holds the key Well, I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time Well, I'm wasted and I can't find my way home dead leaves

[ Tue, Feb 6, 9:23am ] [ mood | amused ] When you first left me I was wanting more But you were fucking that girl next door What'cha do that for? (What'cha do that for?) When you first left me I didnt know what to say I've never been on my own that way Just sat by myself all day I was so lost back then But with a little help from my friends I found the light in the tunnel at the end Now you're calling me up on the phone So you can have a little whine and a moan And it's only because you are feeling alone At first when I see you cry It makes me smile Yeah it makes me smile At worst I feel bad for a while But then I just smile I go ahead and smile Whenever you see me You say that you want me back (Want me back) And I tell you it don't mean jack (It don't mean jack) No it don't mean jack (No it don't mean jack) I couldn't stop laughing No I just couldn't help myself See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell I was so lost back then But with a little help from my friends I found the light in the tunnel at the end Now you're calling me up on the phone So you can have a little whine and a moan And it's only because you're feeling alone At first when I see you cry It makes me smile Yeah it makes me smile At worst I feel bad for a while But then I just smile I go ahead and smile lalala lalala lalala dead leaves

[ Fri, Feb 2, 12:15am ] [ mood | drained ] Fill these spaces up with days in my room you can go you can stay I cant sleep, I cant speak to you, I cant sleep Now these years locked on my drawer I'll open to see just to be sure And so i'm reaching out for the one And so i've learned the meaning of the sun And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view And watching through my own light As it tints the shade of you Hold my wine hold it in Nobody's lost but nobody wins And I cant sleep, I cant speak to you, I cant sleep And so i'm reaching out for the one And so i've learned the meaning of the sun And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view And watching through my own light As it tints the shade of you Hold my wine hold it in no bodys lost but no body wins dead leaves

[ Fri, Jan 26, 1:19pm ] [ mood | cheerful ] You remind me of home: the paint cracks when the water leaks from the rusty pipes that are just beneath my feet You remind me of home: the heater's warm but fills the room with a potpourri of dust and gas fumes You remind me of home: a broken bed with dirty sheets that creaks when I am shifting in my sleep You remind me of home: in a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen But the foundation is crumbling and becoming one with the ground while you lay there in slumber... You're wasting your life You remind me of home: sitting on a thrift store couch, I'm trying to get this all down I love Milwaukee. I'm going to go for a bike ride today. Maybe to Sendiks for some apples. dead leaves

[ Sat, Jan 20, 9:52pm ] Well I left my happy home to see what I could find out I left my folk and friends with the aim to clear my mind out Well I hit the rowdy road and many kinds I met there Many stories told me of the way to get there So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to find out Well in the end I'll know, but on the way I wonder Through descending snow, and through the frost and thunder Well, I listen to the wind come howl, telling me I have to hurry I listen to the robin's song saying not to worry So on and on I go, the seconds tick the time out There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout Then I found myself alone, hopin' someone would miss me Thinking about my home, and the last woman to kiss me, kiss me But sometimes you have to moan when nothing seems to suit yer But nevertheless you know you're locked towards the future So on and on you go, the seconds tick the time out There's so much left to know, and I'm on the road to findout Then I found my head one day when I wasn't even trying And here I have to say, 'cause there is no use in lying, lying Yes the answer lies within, so why not take a look now? Kick out the devil's sin, pick up, pick up a good book now dead leaves

[ Sun, Dec 10, 12:46am ] laugh all the time and try to get high. dead leaves

[ Tue, Nov 21, 7:43pm ] She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She's got everything she needs, She's an artist, she don't look back. She can take the dark out of the nighttime And paint the daytime black. You will start out standing Proud to steal her anything she sees. You will start out standing Proud to steal her anything she sees. But you will wind up peeking through her keyhole Down upon your knees. She never stumbles, She's got no place to fall. She never stumbles, She's got no place to fall. She's nobody's child, The Law can't touch her at all. She wears an Egyptian ring That sparkles before she speaks. She wears an Egyptian ring That sparkles before she speaks. She's a hypnotist collector, You are a walking antique. Bow down to her on Sunday, Salute her when her birthday comes. Bow down to her on Sunday, Salute her when her birthday comes. For Halloween give her a trumpet And for Christmas, buy her a drum. dead leaves

[ Sun, Nov 5, 12:05pm ] The wind is in from Africa Last night I couldn't sleep Oh, you know it sure is hard to leave here Carey But it's really not my home My fingernails are filthy, I got beach tar on my feet And I miss my clean white linen and my fancy French cologne Oh Carey get out your cane And I'll put on some silver Oh you're a mean old Daddy, but I like you fine Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine And we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down Let's have a round for these freaks and these soldiers A round for these friends of mine Let's have another round for the bright red devil Who keeps me in this tourist town Come on, Carey, get out your cane I'll put on some silver Oh you're a mean old Daddy, but I like you Maybe I'll go to Amsterdam Or maybe I'll go to Rome And rent me a grand piano and put some flowers 'round my room But let's not talk about fare-thee-welIs now The night is a starry dome. And they're playin' that scratchy rock and roll Beneath the Matalla Moon Come on, Carey, get out your cane And I'll put on some silver You're a mean old Daddy, but I like you The wind is in from Africa Last night I couldn't sleep Oh, you know it sure is hard to leave here But, it's really not my home Maybe it's been too long a time Since I was scramblin' down in the street Now they got me used to that clean white linen And that fancy French cologne Oh Carey, get out your cane I'll put on my finest silver We'll go to the Mermaid Cafe Have fun tonight I said, Oh, you're a mean old Daddy, but you're out of sight dead leaves

[ Sun, Oct 29, 9:21pm ] i am so in love. dead leaves

[ Sat, Oct 21, 9:12am ] RIP Kevin Penglase, my cousin my friend I love you Kevin, you always made the room light up when you walked in it. Always smiling no matter how rough your circumstances. Your daughter McKenna Jane Penglase is beautiful, and a huge piece of you that you left behind. We will take good care of her, and tell her that her daddy loved her very much. Days when we were young and running around in the yard, up until this year driving around and going out to breakfast. You will be missed. The family is all here to mourn your loss today. Last night at Mikes we all sat around the talked about you, tried to comfort Uncle Mike, he's taking it really hard, and he really loved you. We're going to go down to the beach to scatter your ashes after the ceremony today. This is so unreal, you were just here yesterday. I miss you, watch out for me up there. YOU WERE AN AMAZING MAN, AND YOU ARE MISSED MORE THEN YOU KNOW. I LOVE YOU KEVIN. UNTIL AGAIN. 1 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Fri, Aug 11, 10:27am ] Now I sit on the porch and watch the lightning-bugs fly. But I can't see too good, I got tears in my eyes. I'm leaving tomorrow but I don't wanna go. I love you, my town, you'll always live in my soul. dead leaves

[ Thu, Aug 10, 6:31pm ] wooden nickel. brown paper bags. tevas. iced coffee. lake superior. walter. windigos. meteors. cuffed jeans. bark bracelets. walking sticks. turkish silvers. pictures. bowls. dead leaves

[ Fri, Jul 14, 1:25pm ] anyone lived in a pretty how town (with up so floating many bells down) spring summer autumn winter he sang his didn't he danced his did. Women and men (both little and small) cared for anyone not at all they sowed their isn't they reaped their same sun moon stars rain children guessed (but only a few and down they forgot as up they grew autumn winter spring summer) that noone loved him more by more when by now and tree by leaf she laughed his joy she cried his grief bird by snow and stir by still anyone's any was all to her someones married their everyones laughed their cryings and did their dance (sleep wake hope and then)they said their nevers they slept their dream stars rain sun moon (and only the snow can begin to explain how children are apt to forget to remember with up so floating many bells down) one day anyone died i guess (and noone stooped to kiss his face) busy folk buried them side by side little by little and was by was all by all and deep by deep and more by more they dream their sleep noone and anyone earth by april with by spirit and if by yes. Women and men (both dong and ding) summer autumn winter spring reaped their sowing and went their came sun moon stars rain 1 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Mon, Jun 26, 9:00pm ] first dates are horribly akward. 2 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Fri, Jun 23, 2:22pm ] there was an old lady driving her buick behind me today smoking a cigarette. it made me think, hey, if she's 80 and still smoking cigarettes then there is hope for the younger cigarette smoking generation. my brains so fucked up on nicotine. yikes. oh and didn't the brand cheetos put some kind of addictive substance into their cheetos. cate, maybe that's why cher will eat a whole bag and then complain that she's fat. 1 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Thu, Jun 8, 1:44pm ] I'm so excited! My cousins from Atlanta are coming tomorrow night with my dad. Only for the evening, and then leaving in the morning. But I don't know where to take them. I want to go to like Little Presque & the Island and Sugar Loaf and Forestville, but what are some other good places to go? They've never been to someplace with so many trees so I want to show them how beautiful it is in Marquette and the UP in general.. So suggestions would help.. 1 & the dirty ground dead leaves

[ Wed, Jun 7, 2:20pm ] Work is dull, I feel so unimportant and useless when I'm sitting here waiting to be told what to do next. The phone isn't ringing and there are no people coming to the door to greet. So I guess my title is 'Agency Assistant.' That makes me sound important. Yesterday I ran errands, out to Ishpeming (got myself completely lost, horrible directions were given to me), and that was stressful. Life is boring right now, I get up at around 12 and then head to work from 1 to 5. After that I'm usually tired, but if not I'll go spend my night with couples and feel like a big lesbian or something because I don't have a boyfriend. I can't force myself into liking someone just so I won't feel left out. I can't wait for Milwaukee, only a month and a half! Finally something new! My graduation party is on June 10th, and I expect everyone to come. I don't even want to have a party but it's just one of those customs that you have to abide by. I'm so sick of sucking up and bullshit. I'm sick of talking about my future plans and the way that my life should be. Because frankly, I have a feeling that it's going to be nothing like I'll have planned it to be anyways. Why spend my time mapping out my future when things are always stopping that from happening. I'm ranting; Bonnaroo! I think I might die from all kinds of things. I don't think I'll be coming back from Tennessee. Because after the festival I will die happy. Thank You Ladies & Gents, Time to Slack Off, Ella Agency Assistant CC: M. Tavernini & Associates dead leaves

[ Fri, May 19, 11:59pm ] [ mood | melancholy ] i want to make a cave of my bed and sleep in it for eternity & i want to be loved. (& to love back in return) dead leaves

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